Random Brain Dump

September 15, 2017

I obsessively cut Milam's hair and nails.  Love freshly trimmed hair! (And he pinches a lot)

I'm about 60% sure I want another kid and 40% don't.  Mainly because I don't want to pay three kid's college tuition.  Jonathan, not so much. 99% sure he does't want another. He said no matter how many we have he'll be happy but he doesn't want to split his time up even more.  He likes a lot of quality time with our two and doesn't want his time to be split three ways.  I feel like if Milam had been born even one year earlier we would have more time to decide but obviously I'm a year older so the clock is always ticking.  AND, Milam was a good baby (as good as a baby can be in my mind...all newborns to me = HARD!) but Georgia was a very difficult newborn.  I don't want another difficult one.  That makes me VERY weary!

I eat a lot of chocolate.  A LOT.  I need to really work on my sugar addiction.

I have hypothyroidism (under active thyroid) and take hormones every day.  It causes fatigue and elevated cholesterol (which can lead to heart issues), depression, and a lot of other things like dry skin.  You have to take the hormones while pregnant or risk the chance of birth defects.  I wake up, take my pill with a full glass of water, wait an hour, and then eat breakfast.  After having Georgia it took me 18 months to get my levels back on track (common after birth) which resulted in failure to produce enough breast milk and me losing a very large amount of weight at a rapid rate.  After Milam my levels remained (almost) constant although I lost weight fairly quickly and produced a lot of milk.  I still battle fatigue but it isn't nearly as bad.  Because my body handled itself so great after birth this time around my OBGYN is handling my meds and I no longer see an endocrinologist every 3 months.  It has been a really nice change. It has been a learning process and I wish I had known more about it when initially diagnosed.

Not sure what is my favorite part of "This is Us".  Now, I will be honest I don't think it's like THE BEST THING EVER but...
1) Is the music my favorite?
2) Is Mandy Moore's 70's wardrobe my favorite?
3) Are Randall and Beth my favorite?
...Three way tie???

I feel kind of stuck house wise right now.  I think it would be easier to move...kind of.  Jonathan doesn't want to move again...EVER.  (Read: he doesn't like change).  We live on an acre and he rather do a full scale remodel and add on eventually.  I think that sounds like a lot of trouble BUT I'm not sure we can find what we want, in a school district we like, with the lot size we want, that is still close to everything! Our town was named the fastest growing town in America (true statement!) so everything is pretty much taken that is in town and on a big lot.  I used to want more land and to live farther out but time is so valuable to use these days that living further out, or further from J's work, or further from our family is kind of something we aren't willing to do.  My family helps us out so much, J works so much, and more land would mean MUCH MUCH more work and TIME.  This location is the perfect balance right now...but it is not my dream house.  If we could make it my dream house then I would stay.

Georgia has named five of her children:
Ivy Claire
Poppy Reynolds
Edie Emiline
Michael Bentley
AND...
Hennsley

Why are "on point" eye brows a thing?  I don't get why drawing your eye brows on so thick and clearly looking like they are not real is a thing.  Anyone else with me on this?!

And, why do we get offended by everything? EVERYTHING.  I feel like in parenting we can't say anything without taking offense.  Like, people some how get offended when a stranger says, "your hands look full" It has never bothered me once.  It's usually a parent who is older than me and says it with a smile and a laugh.  Just because it is said a lot doesn't me it is bad.  I do kind of get where people are coming from.  Like, I used to be asked ALL THE TIME about when we were going to have another baby.  Granted that is SUPER personal but people aren't going to know by looking at me that I had two miscarriages a year apart and each of those pregnancies took me almost a year to get.  People are just trying to make conversation.  Or if you're pregnant people just shouldn't be allowed to talk to you or look at you because you'll be mad at them no matter what they say.  I wasn't like that when I was pregnant.  Again, people just trying to make conversation...with one exception.  The man who constantly asked me if I was sure I wasn't having twins.  Fairly certain he got some sort of sick pleasure from seeing my blood boil.

In general I'm just so over all of those "Dear mom take heart" articles.  I can't handle the cheesiness of it all.  I said it.  Don't hate me #sorryNOTsorry

Also, I've over the whole tribe - wild and free movement.  I'm not native american and while my children are wild, despite my best efforts, they are for sure not feral...

I feel every year like my favorite season has been stolen from me.  My favorite season has always been fall and now it is so overly trendy for that to be your favorite season.  My birthday is in October so fall has always selfishly been may favorite.  Last fall was the best yet.  I was just coming out of my newborn haze with Milam and we were able to be out and about as a family.  Such a sweet time.

Georgia is really into jewelry and always has a lot of questions about mine.  She calls my engagement ring my "proposement" ring...which kind of make sense.

When I started my  "business" I never really meant for it to be a business.  We were living in a house my mom owned after our recent home sell and were trying to have another baby.  It took almost 18 months to find a house and about 2.5 years to get our son so photography gave me ownership over something, control over a tiny little part of my life, provided a creative outlet, gave me something to do while Georgia was at preschool, and occupied my mind to keep me from thinking about pregnancy too much.  It really did provide so much for me but it really snuck up on me in a way.  My business kind of exploded (not that I'm hugely successful or really all that good) and I feel like I'm playing catch up.  I got a new stronger camera, still need a new computer and different photoshop...and so many other things but it now SO hard with a one year old.  I love what I do and the flexibility it affords me but Milam gives me no flexibility and he has to come first. I feel kind of stalled out creatively speaking because Milam gets so much of my energy and that's fine.  Everything has its season.

I don't like white subway tile with dark grout.  It looks dirty.  There.  I said it.  It is so nice to have that off my chest.  Phew...

2 comments:

. said...
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Hilary said...

I love this post. I know I'm not the only one with 1000 thoughts running through my head at any given moment!

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